you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
