Fuck appropriateness.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
