Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
