This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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