we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
