so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
