I am puke
its not stalking. its research.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
