Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
