I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I look better un-naked...
He kissed a someone with a penis
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Randomize
