I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize