My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
