summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
