I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
