I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
