Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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