My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Fuck appropriateness.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
