my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
