remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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