1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
