You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I don't think brook has ever known best
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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