Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
