Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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