i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
