you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
