Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
