id be glad to
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
