YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
