she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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