wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
