Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
