you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
