She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
