I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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