I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
