He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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