if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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