member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
