I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
