wat bout pragnant strippers??
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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