Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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