She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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