i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
