weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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