Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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