he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
