Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
