No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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