You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
