i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Send help, water and tortillas.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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