in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
