i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
